If I Were A Girl

If I were a girl, I would bully all the boys I know. I can't stand the fact that although boys are bigger and stronger, we can't do as much as touch a girl, while they get to pinch, punch, nip us all around.

If I were a girl, I wouldn't hesitate to cry if I felt like it. Why is it less embarrassing for girls to cry?

If I were a girl, I would share my meals with my (female) friends. Makes no point right? You ask for half the quantity of food, yet you still pay the full price?

If I were a girl, I wouldn't bother about becoming a nerd. For some reasons girls are much better than hiding their nerdiness than guys. Don't believe me, try to recall the top female scorers of your class. I can't believe that I look so nerdy even though I was one of the last ten back there in high school.

If I were a girl, I wouldn't have to shave this often. I mean I wouldn't have to shave my facial hair at all. Facial hair is good, but facial hair AND zits is not.

But...

If I were a girl, I would have to be more careful with what I eat. Girls gain weight so much easier than guys!

If I were a girl, I wouldn't be able to run away when I get someone pregnant. Because that someone would be me.

And worst of all...

If I were a girl, I wouldn't be able to pee standing up!

ARGH!!!

Thank goodness I'm a guy!

*No offense to anybody of any gender. This post is written solely for the sake of fun.